Novels

Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf
Set during the Renaissance in Rome, this is the story of Giuseppe Amadonelli – ‘Peppe’ – a crippled dwarf who rises from obscurity in the slums of the Trastevere district to the highest rung of the Vatican ladder, becoming the confidante of Pope Leo X. In the process of this astonishing rise from rags to riches, Peppe meets the beautiful Laura de’ Collini, who introduces him to Gnostic philosophy and initiates him into a secret Gnostic confraternity. It is a tale of circus freaks, ecclesiastical corruption, sexual perversion and – ultimately – hope in the enduring power of love.

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Confessions of a Flesh-Eater
These are the candid recollections of self-proclaimed überchef Orlando Crispe, whose overwhelming passion in life is for meat. In frank detail, he relates the progress of his love affair with beef, lamb, pork, chicken and, in the end, human flesh. He likens meat-eating to the act of physical love at its most intensely unifying. Crispe has even devised his own philosophy to explain it: 'Absorptionism'. Unfortunately the authorities in England and Italy do not share this elevated perspective and he is arrested for the murder of at least four people. The bulk of these confessions are written while Crispe languishes in Rome's Regina Coeli prison.

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Confessions of a Flesh-Eater Cookbook
Recipes and other culinary secrets from Maestro Orlando Crispe's notorious 'Thursday Club', including the now justly famous Vitello Arrosto dallo Spirito del' Uomo Greco Antico and Roast Loin of Pork with Peach and Kumquat Stuffing, for which Maestro Crispe first used the thigh of Miss Lydia Malone. This cookbook, to quote its publisher, "takes cooking out of the kitchen and away from the tv screens, and puts it where it deserves to be, in the philosophy section alongside Plato and the other great masters of the human psyche." Recipes are accompanied by excerpts from Orlando Crispe's unpublished diaries and the book includes an application form for membership of the Thursday Club.

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A Box of Dreams
Is a surreal extravaganza set in a gothic castle somewhere in snowbound middle-Europe. The young narrator finds himself on a train at night, wearing no trousers, unable to recall who he is or where he is going. On the train he encounters an elderly man who says he is Dr Freud of Vienna (but not the Dr Freud) and a sadistic guard called Malkowitz. At Schloss Flüchstein, ancestral home of Count Wilhelm, he finds himself expected to deliver a lecture on yodelling, accidentally starts a stampede of feral cows and becomes infatuated with Adelma, the count's nymphomaniac daughter. Dream opens up onto dream almost ad infinitum as the young man struggles to discover his identity and to separate reality from illusion. Yet all is not what it seems, as the very last page of the book makes clear!

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